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Writer's pictureT.D. Dracken

Adventures of the Gray Guardian 1 - A Cheap Encounter and the Comedic Relief Villain

A cashier looked up from a magazine with a smile as he began repeating the now-ingrained phrase, “Hello, welcome to Willard’s, how can I –” His voice trailed off as he saw the strange man who had just walked into the store. "He glanced over at the small calendar located next to his cash register. Only two days ‘til Halloween. This must be it," he thought.


The clerk watched in disbelief as the man, wearing a bicycle helmet covered in shiny pennies, all neatly arranged in rows, walked up to him. He managed to say, “help you …” before his attention was drawn to the one-size-too-small t-shirt the man was wearing that had a printed image of a 1973 penny on it.

Light glinted off of the strange man’s blue tinted goggles as he held up a large water gun that appeared to be connected to a large tank on his back through a hose. “Open your register!”


The clerk blinked. “Is for serious?” he stammered as he looked at the man.


“Yes.” The man leaned forward for a closer look at the clerks name tag. “Lenard, it is. Open it.” He held up the water gun and pumped it menacingly. “Open it!”


Lenard’s mind went back to the instructions he received on what to do if he was ever held up, but none of them seemed to apply to the situation he was currently in. “So who are you, exactly?” he asked as he reached under the counter slowly and slipped a finger against a small hidden switch.


“I’m Penny Man!” declared the man as he struck a triumphant pose while aiming the water gun at the ceiling. “Now!” he went on yelling as he leveled the water gun at Lenard, “Do as I say or I’ll cover your body in itch powder solution!”


It took a moment for what was said to process as a threat. Lenard contemplated reaching under the counter for the bottle of pepper spray or the collapsible night stick he liked to hide on the top shelf when he was working the register. "Maybe alerting the police was a bit much," he wondered as he reached for his register and opened the cash drawer.

“Good!” yelled Penny Man, now nearly in a panic. “Now, get the pennies out! Just the shiny ones! I don’t want anything else out!”


Lenard’s jaw dropped open. “Is this serious?” He glanced around. “Is there a camera hidden somewhere?”


“No, now do as I say!”

= = = = = = = = = = = =

A short time ago, a strongly-built man in a nice sedan looked over a his radio as the alert of a robbery came through. A display screen slid out and showed the location of the alert. “Perfect,” said the man with a grin. “It’s only a few minutes out with the current traffic conditions.” He hit a button to send an automated response to the police switchboard that he was in route to the call.


He resisted the urge to turn on sirens as he dodged and weaved through traffic and narrowly avoided being caught by a red light. He brought his black and gold sedan to a stop in front of the store. A hand slid down to his utility belt, which he lifted out of the way to push the button on his seat belt. As the seat belt cleared, he flung open the door and leaped out of the car.


Moments later, Lenard looked away from Penny Man and at the door. His mouth dropped open as he was filled with a sense of awe at seeing the gray and dark brown clad figure standing in the doorway. “The Gray Guardian!” he gasped.


Penny Man’s stiffened for a moment before spinning around, weapon at the ready. “You’ll not take me!” he cried as he held up the water gun.


The Gray Guardian pulled around his dark brown cape to block whatever could be housed in a back pack water gun purchased from elsewhere in the very store they were located in. He heard the sound of water hitting his cape and then lowered it in confusion as he studied the puddle at his feet.


“Oh no!” gasped Penny Man. “My itch powder solution has no effect!” He bolted for the door in desperation.


The Gray Guardian watched the villain dart past him and looked back at Lenard. “Was this a prank?”


“N-n-no sir! It was a legitimate hold-up … but he only wanted pennies. Shiny ones from 1973, I think,” managed Lenard as he fought to control his sense of awe at being in the presence of a real superhero.


“Okay … Well …” uttered the Gray Guardian thoughtfully.


Lenard watched with growing excitement as the Gray Guardian walked up to the counter and pulled something out of his utility belt. He blinked at realizing that it was a roll of twenty dollar bills. “Um …”


Gray Guardian pulled a single twenty out of the roll and placed it on the counter next to the loose change. “I’d like all the pennies you have please … and keep the change.”


Lenard nodded excitedly and quickly took out unopened rolls of pennies from under his cash drawer. He held them out for the masked hero and asked, “What will you do?”


The Gray Guardian sighed. “Try to keep him from hurting himself.” With that, he stowed the coins in a pouch on the inside of his cape and bolted out of the store.


Lenard stared in silent awe for a time. “Wow.”


= = = = = = = = = = = =

That fun story serves at the introduction for this mini-essay, as well as a bulk of the content for it. As you might have guessed, the focus of the story was on Penny Man, a pure example of a comedic relief villain. It’s evident from the arsenal he’s equipped himself with that he doesn’t want to hurt anyone and even the cashier being held up was better equipped for a fight.


So, what exactly is a comedic relief villain though? A comedic relief villain is a villain whose primary purpose for existing is to inject comedy into the story, though they can still be used to drive elements of the plot forward. For example, a villain that is only a comedic villain because he’s in an altered state of mind can drive a plot toward the investigation into why the person was acting so strangely.


One of the most important things when creating a comedic relief villain, in my opinion, is to leave them with a sense of innocence. This is through either the character lacking the will to follow through with actually hurting anyone or the real capability to seriously hurt anyone by virtue of their chosen arsenal or methods. This allows people consuming the story to laugh about the antics of the character without any guilt from laughing about a situation in which people were harmed.


If that sense of innocence is lost by some sinister aspect being added to the character or pointing out that the seemingly harmless arsenal could seriously hurt someone if a person is shot in the eyes or has a serious allergic reaction to it, then the sense of innocence about the character is lost. The character moves from being a true comedy relief villain to a second rate villain whose claim to fame is being pathetic rather than being good for a laugh.


In the story Penny Man is a bit of a foil to the Gray Guardian, not because the Gray Guardian is intimidated by the strange villain but because he doesn’t want the guilt of punching out someone who is so harmless and deranged. Even so, he knows that he has to capture the would-be villain before his actions lead to him getting hurt. This is one of the keys of a good comedy relief villain in the purest state.


Does this mean that you can’t have more dangerous comedy relief villains? Actually, it doesn’t. A comedy relief villain can be dangerous and capable of doing great harm. The key to this is that the villain isn’t successful, even if not for lack of trying. For example, a small villain could try to rob a bank while wielding a huge machine gun as his weapon. In this scenario, the villain could fire his gun into the ceiling of the bank to encourage the bank employees to comply with his wishes. Firing the gun causes the villain to lose control of his weapon which begins firing uncontrollably into the ceiling. The damaged ceiling then collapses onto the villain and defeats him before anyone, besides the villain, can be hurt.


To summarize, there are two primary types of comedic relief villains and a range in between that goes from strange and goofy to serious but hapless that would often be defeated by himself, unexpected circumstances, or any number of humorous scenarios that inject the required humor into the scenario. In the latter case, the innocence isn’t preserved in the character but situation around the character and the inability to deal any real harm before being defeated like in the case of Wile E. Coyote or Elmer Fudd. If at any point the humor is stripped away from the character or surrounding situation, the character ceases to be a comedic relief villain.


A villain of the first type, the harmless goofy character either changes to become a more serious threat or becomes nothing more than a second rate villain overshadowed by the more true villains around him. and is demoted to two-bit bumbling villain that is more pathetic than anything else. The second type of comedic relief villain, one that would pose a serious threat if not for circumstances would likely either revel in their newfound ability to do damage and would go on a rampage or suddenly find themselves facing the consequences and horror of actually doing serious harm to or killing someone.

Either way, the key to a good comedic relief villain is to, either directly or through situations, maintain a sense of innocence about the character. If that is lost, he will either become a character poorly suited to the villain role, be broken by the consequences of actions, or revel in them and become a serious villain.

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